6 weeks old | an Archer Update

Breastfeeding

Yes you read right, my baby is 6 weeks old tomorrow. Whilst time has flown by, it also feels like archer has been apart of our family for a lifetime. We are so complete, our hearts are full and we are all content with our family of four. 
Our amazing newest member of the family has been sick the past week you may have read in my milk drunk blog post a few days back, our poor little honey. His so helpless and innocent, it's breaking my heart. 

Archer is fairly unsettled and sleeps only for short amounts during the day, his wind irritates him and he gets quite colicky. But, lucky for me, night time his perfect. Last night he went to sleep after a feed at 9pm and woke at 4am, back to sleep and up at 9.30am! Now that's something special! On a normal night he still isn't something to complain about, waking normally at roughly 2 am and 6 am for a feed and a nappy change. 

His beginning to goo and gah and some may say smile, yet I'm not convinced the windy smiles are becoming real just this soon. His growing up and his beautiful.

I'm sorry you lost you girlfriend

family
I want you all to meet someone, 16 year old me. Fun, loud, cocky and spontaneous. I was care free and gave less than zero fucks about anything. I didn't stress about anything more than making sure my hair and makeup was perfect before leaving my bedroom for the day; no not even leaving the house...
Surprisingly somewhere over the past 5 years somethings changed. 

Dear my fiancé,

Do you feel cheated, that the girl you fell for is no longer the girl your engaged to? In some ways you should, it's kinda false advertising right? Well I'm sorry you lost your girlfriend, but you did gain a fiancé and two children.

I'm sorry I no longer ask how high when you say jump, it doesn't mean I love you any less. But hey let's face it we both went to extreme lengths to try please each other when we were first dating, it's what you do because you want them but once you have them you relax, get comfy and true colours show. 
You don't only relax and dull down on compliments and nice gestures, you also let yourself go. I'm sorry I'm no longer that slim yet curvy girl with perky boobs. I no longer have time to take pride in my appearance and that has blown my self confidence put the window. 

But guess what baby? I'm not sorry that I lost my body to gain our two boys. That my makeup sits there staring at me rather than being on my face. I actually don't mind the little rut we are stuck in, day in day out. You know why? Because we do it together, as a family, as one. 
 
Love Tiarne x

I'm sorry about the newborn

family
Dear my toddler, I'm sorry about the newborn. 

The moment you walked into the hospital room will forever bring a tear to my eye. You were mesmerised and inlove. No words can come close to explaining the connection I felt between the four of us. 

Mummy's favourite words have became STOP and GENTLE; I'm sorry I know you just want to love him. 
Only last week you had me all to yourself, please remember I'm still mummy. You just need to share me now. I'm sorry that my arms sometimes can't cuddle the two of you, but my heart will never be too crowded for you.
Mummy is sorry that baby cries and sometimes I can't make him stop. Mummy is sorry that she makes you cry; I know you only want my attention but mummy is learning too. 

But guess what darling? I'm not sorry about a lot of things too. 
I'm not sorry that you now have a best friend, a play mate, and a brother. 
I'm not sorry that without you knowing this is teaching you things; independence as well as how to love and care for something. To help others and to share. 
I'm not sorry that we extended our family. I'm not sorry that we created more love. 

Love Mummy


DAILY RUT | When the spark dwindles

argument
We can't be the only couple that argue. Over small silly things to begin with, then somehow the argument gets bigger and old past situations get dragged in. Then the next day it's been all brushed under the carpet and you can't even remember what you were arguing about? That's us in a nutshell. We don't rage over something significant, always just little things that can't even be resolved. 

Surely it's normal to fall into life's daily rut. Especially once you have children. Your whole set of priorities change. The woman's priority is the child, the now, providing and keeping them clean, warm and fed. The mans priority on the other hand is the opposite, it's the future. Providing for the long term. Creating an asset and setting up the children for their life. 
Once upon a time all your priority was, was to chase that one guy/girl who has your heart. Flirt, tease and play. It was fun, exciting and a constant chase. You never knew what was around the bend. But now you don't even focus on one another, and I think that's where the arguments begin. 
We all want that spark back, but in reality it's gone. There can be moments, of love laughter and playfulness but it will never be a lifetime of chasing. Which is hard to adjust too. 

But I do believe there a things your can do to spice up the relationship. Do something you both enjoy something spontaneous and random! This can include the kids too! We go fishing or we went to the snow, it was great and we laughed and enjoyed ourselves! 
Go out for dinner or stay away over night somewhere, child free would be best ;) 
Even wait till the little ones are asleep, get take out and watch a movie! 


A few months ago, Shane and I at the snow. 

It's the little things

love
People show affection to the ones they love with out realising they are doing so. That twinkle in your eyes, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear, and the little smile that starts in only one corner of your mouth. 

Today Charlie started patting me on the head, I took no notice and told him I wasn't a dog. He laughed and continued to pay me and then proceeded to lay his was down as though he was sleeping. And again he patted my head but this time he wanted me to lay my head down. 
He was stroking my hair, he was trying to relax me and gesture for me to sleep. 
This is what I do to him when we snuggle. Majority of the time I don't even realise I'm doing it. But it obviously makes an impact on him. 
My gorgeous little boy, his already showing me affection. 

It's crazy the things children take notice of and copy. 
It can also go the other way.... 
Charlie has decided he enjoys telling me off. Pointing at me and saying Daa Taach
meaning Don't Touch. It's the cutest thing and I can't help but giggle at him. It also makes me think? How often do I tell him off, tell him not to touch things. When really his just experimenting, pushing limits and trying new things. 




Letters to my 15 year old self

blog
Last Thursday I was listening to a segment on the radio which was about celebrities who have written letters to their younger selves. It was quite inspirational and positive to listen to. This week I've teamed up with 7 other bloggers. We are all going to share a letter to our 15 year old selves! For myself it's also a little celebration post about moving out of my teen years officially this year. Yep I'm half way to 40! 

Well hey there 15 year old me! 
Hair extentions in, makeup on, fake tan? CHECK. Oh and don't forget that overly frilly pair of underwear you for some reason think are super sexy. 
Don't forget your bottle of Pash n Pop or Trevi either girl. 
That pretty much sums up your life from 15 - 17. Alcohol, Fun, Boys, Friendships and Love. 

Let's start with love.. Or should I say heart brake? I'm sorry to brake it to you gorgeous girl but that boy your head over heels in love with. Yes, the one who treats you so well and makes you the happiest girl in the world. He will brake your heart. Smash it into tiny pieces and leave you an emotional wreck. 
My advice is, don't shut yourself down so much. There are so many people around you that care and want to help you. You may not realise it but this is the moment your depression really hits hard and it's a journey I want you to not experience. 
You need help now, not in two years time. 

You know one good thing that came from your now ex bf. A large group of new friendships. Friendships you keep even long after that relationship fades away.  One special one in perticular, after you finish reading this 15 year old me, go hug Peter Clarke really tight, even tighter than you normally do. Treasure every moment with him. Don't ask me why, just do it. He is one person who you have a lot to thank for, a gorgeous soul. 

At 16 you have already met your dream man, not that you would believe me if I said who! Just before your 18th birthday he will propose to you and 2 and a bit months before your 19th birthday you will give birth to a healthy baby. This baby brings a whole new meaning to life for lots of family members. 

If I could give you any advice, it would be this...
Don't take anything for granted, life is short! You will loose people who mean everything to you. But you can keep going. Be everything they would want you to be and more. Make them proud. Don't listen to people who try to bring you down. Your hot and they are probably, no wait they are deffinitely just jealous ✋
Stay true to yourself, your morals and your goals. You can be anything you want to be! 

Love your settled down almost 20 year old self. 

Ps, you get your happily ever after very soon. xx

5.0 S H A D E S ||OF PARENTING

50 shades of grey
I'm no J.K Rowling, but I do love to write. Which generally goes hand in hand with reading. There has been a lot of controversy about the Fifty Shades sequal of books and the new realise movie. 
The books, written by E.L James are in my opinion AMAZING. It's the most intriguing sequal I have read, it possesses you and your imagination runs wild on the romantic addictive  journey. 



Here are my 5.0 shades of parenting that I've encounterd over the past (almost) 12 months! 

1.0  O V E R W H E L M E D 
When I first returned home from hospital I tried to structure every little aspect of my life. I attempted to control everything else because I was so overwhelmed in not having any control of this little life that I brought into this world. I had no idea. 

2.0  L E A R N I N G
I am constantly learning about parenting at the same rate as Charlie is developing. As he goes through different stages I seem to also learn different concepts and techniques. I have learnt to be very flexible and accepting to the changes in which we make whilst adapting to the developmental stages Charlie goes through. 

3.0  S T R E S S 
That first hospital trip is always so scary! You will most likely go to the hospital knowing that you dont really need to be going there, but you still go anyway just to put your own mind at ease. 
We spent 4 hours in emergency with the outcome that Charlie was "teething". Thanks for that docs. 

4.0  R O L E P L A Y
I was a granddaughter, daughter, sister, lover and friend. 
I am now all of those things as well as a parent. A mother trying to find her feet and attempting to have time for herself, her lover, family and friends in a world of craziness. 

5.0  I N T I M A C Y
Intamacy with your partner is the spark in every relationship. But whilst I was breastfeeding I really struggled with the concept of sharing my body with both my partner and my son.


A heart felt story of a super mums bravery

Bump babes
A little about who you are and your story?
I’m a young mummy named Lesley, married to an amazing man named Lucas with a 2.5 year old toddler named Maxwell or Maxi as we call him who is the light of my life. I have been on life support (dialysis) ever since Maxi was a few months old. In the summer of 2010 I became very sick, no one really knew what was wrong until one day I went to the dr for a blood test and got told to " get in an ambulance immediately as my kidneys were failing” it was of course terrifying but after 6 months of intensive chemotherapy they put my rare condition ‘nephritis’ into remission however I was left with only about 20% kidney function.. The doctors did not think I would ever be able to get pregnant because of the chemo etc. then by a miracle in Sep 2011 I found out I was pregnant (we were NOT trying) I was told that due to only having 20% kidney function my pregnancy was considered very high risk and that my baby may come very early. He did, I developed life threatening severe preeclampsia and this wiped out the remainder of my kidney function. I had an emergency c-section to save mine and my little boy’s life and Maxi was born at 29 weeks and 5 days weighing only 1.1 kilos. It was the happiest and most terrifying day of my life. He spent 6 weeks and 6 days in MONASH NICU before we got to take our little prince home.. To this day I count my blessings every second as he is in perfect health regardless of his prematurity- my miracle baby.




how do you keep such a positive and confident aspect on life?
I don’t know I guess I just feel very blessed every day to still be here, blessed that my little boy survived coming into the world so early and blessed that I live in a country where I can receive dialysis and remain alive until a new kidney is found. I don’t take any day for granted.

whose your rock and how do they make you smile on those darker days? 
My husband Lucas 100%! he’s the strongest most incredible man I’ve ever known, to watch his wife on life support and see his son in a similar situation at the same time must have been the most difficult thing in the world - but he managed it and managed to pull us both through- he does all this whilst running two businesses and driving me around too (I lost my drivers license due to seizures from my kidney failure) He’s the best friend anyone could ask for and has the strongest soul I have ever encountered.



what would you say to woman with body image concerns?
That nobody is perfect that there is no such thing. For me scars in particular are beautiful they are battle wounds that tell your own unique story and proof that you are stronger than whatever tried to hurt you. I’ve had 6 operations in 2 years and many, many scars..embrace what you have and just be grateful for having your health it’s a priceless asset and gift. Last but not least don’t compare yourself to others - be your own best version of yourself as everyone else is taken. There is only one YOU!


I can be your hero baby

love
I can kiss away the pain. I will stand by you forever.... 

I'm deffinitely not about to win XFactor but when I'm alone (aka it's just Charlie and I) I sing ALLL the time. I love lyrics, they can just explain things so much better than I can in my own words. One song can describe to someone exactly how your feeling. 

These lyrics popped into my head whilst I was thinking about how quickly my little darling is growing up. How quickly he is gaining independence. I want to be his hero, I want to be the person who he turns to for advice and guidance. 


My little chunky man is my whole world! He drives me up the walls most days, sometimes I even want to hide up there and not come back down.... But I do, I always come back down to reality. I give him a cuddle and all my pain goes away ♥️ Your Mummy Blogger



I'm just a stay at home mum

laughter
"I'm just a mum" no no no. Hunny you are more than just a mum! 

You are a waitress, a maid, a chef, a cleaner, a teacher, a taxi, an alarm clock, a calendar, a wife, a friend, a daughter, a sister and a mother. 
Your a slave to your children, and a damn fantastic one at that!

Your raising and guiding your children to be the best they possibly can be, your installing morals in them. Sending their imagination wild and creating goals and aspirations that one day they will fulfill. 

Being a mother is the most rewarding job in the world. You don't get paid in dollars, you get paid in love. Love and laughter and joy. Happiness and smiles, giggles and cuddles. 
To me, that's the most amazing payment I could ever recieve. 


Juggling

Life
Learning to be a mother is a difficult task on it's own. But learning to be a mother whilst trying to juggle your relationship with your partner, your friends and your family is something so much more. 

You give birth to this precious little life that consumes your whole world. That beautiful little face that you could stare at all day and probably feel like screaming at during early hours of the morning. Both you and your partner as first time parents will have no idea what you are doing. No amount of parenting classes, books or my lovely blogs can even give you the slightest bit of reality. 
One day your giving your partner and the love of your life every ounce of your attention. The next day your struggling to have a conversation on a topic other than  what baby's poo is like or how many times he's vomited today. I'm not going to lie and say that part fades away, because dispise my partners disgust "poo talk" happens all the time even 10 months later! But the attention juggling act between quality partner time and baby time does level out. You will reach a point where you can stay up on your own with your lover when baby is asleep, rather then racing to bed to get every wink of sleep possible. And if your having any doubts about your physical or psychological relationship it will all soon level back out and return to "normal". Except that you will have a little person who will always come first, before the wants and needs of your own. 
But somehow you will happily let them takeover your world and you will love every painful and joyful minute of it! 


The highest and happiest point

Happiness
For me, my highest and happiest point of parenting was also the very first! 
That first moment he was born, i saw this grey slimy little body get lifted into the air. Then he cried, the most beautiful little perfect cry. He was completely innocent and unaware. 
I remember saying "that's my baby"well derr ofcourse that was my baby! I was in shock! I couldn't believe it. The day I had been waiting so long for had finally came 💜 

What's your favourite moment of parenting? Feel free to comment below! 

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