Knowing when you have reached your limit
11:25:00 pmThe moment you realise this will be over forever.
It's time for you to meet the world, my little one. It's time to grow, learn and develop. I cannot wait to start this adventure with you. But before it begins can we just take a moment.
I need a moment to appreciate pregnancy; the aches, the pains and your movements. I want to memorise the feeling of your hiccups. I want to see Charlie admire my stomach one last time, give it one last kiss and then cover it up and say “bye bye baby”. I just need to freeze these moments in time.
It's all about to end and I don't know how to feel about it.
I feel relief; for my body. I can now heal, I can focus on my health and my fitness.
I feel lighter; like weights have been lifted. I know Shane and I will be able to rekindle and light the flame which my moody hormones have smothered.
I feel relaxed; knowing I can finally take back control of my mental health.
I feel guilt; for wanting it to end. For seeing the positives of never being pregnant again.
I feel sadness. For this will be the last time I will grow another life; have two hearts beating inside my one body.
But I know I should be excited, to begin a new chapter. Extend our family of three and become a family of four. I am content with the thought of two boys. Running around the farm, playing in mud, making a mess and causing chaos.
I know it'll never be easy, but we will conquer each milestone together; taking it one step at a time.
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