Currently I'm striving to survive each day; wake up, feed children, change nappies, sleep, bath and repeat. Notice how we don't even worry about getting dressed? That's optional, okay to be honest bathing the children is also a “in the moment” decision. 

I keep telling myself it won't always be this way. As we grow and learn together we will be able to achieve more things in our day. I as a mother will reach milestones, motherhood milestones; things only other mothers will understand. 

Someday soon I might be able to brush my hair. Or have a shower without jumping out 3 times to check on a baby who like always is still sleeping peacefully. A day without yelling at my two year old? Wouldn't that be bliss. Being able to drink coffee whilst it's hot and finishing a meal before it goes cold. Eventually I'll leave the house without smelling like breastmilk and maybe one day even do my makeup. 

These are all milestones I want to have a crack at and believe me one day I'll succeed!

What's the motherhood milestone you want to achieve? 

He will love you so much and sometimes he might cuddle you too tight. He will be the roughest form of gentle anyone will have ever seen; I'm sorry. 

It doesn't seem fair that his first year of life was full of cuddles, attention and bonding time. I'm sorry darling that we will need to work out how to survive each minute.

Your nap times will have some background noise; you will quickly learn to sleep through anything. Most of the time it will just be mummy yelling at your big brother, it will soon become normal. I'm sorry. 

I'm sorry for all these things that your currently unaware of. But its what I'm not sorry about that really matters. 

I'm not sorry that you have a big brother here waiting for you. To protect you, care and defend you. He will be your first friend, your best friend. The one you can fight with yet he will always be right there behind you. Ready to catch you when you fall; and laugh as he lifts you back up. 

That I'm not sorry about, one day you will thank me. 

Love From Mummy. 

It's time for you to meet the world, my little one. It's time to grow, learn and develop.  I cannot wait to start this adventure with you. But before it begins can we just take a moment. 

I need a moment to appreciate pregnancy; the aches, the pains and your movements. I want to memorise the feeling of your hiccups. I want to see Charlie admire my stomach one last time, give it one last kiss and then cover it up and say “bye bye baby”. I just need to freeze these moments in time. 

It's all about to end and I don't know how to feel about it. 

I feel relief; for my body. I can now heal, I can focus on my health and my fitness. 

I feel lighter; like weights have been lifted. I know Shane and I will be able to rekindle and light the flame which my moody hormones have smothered. 

I feel relaxed; knowing I can finally take back control of my mental health.

I feel guilt; for wanting it to end. For seeing the positives of never being pregnant again. 

I feel sadness. For this will be the last time I will grow another life; have two hearts beating inside my one body. 

But I know I should be excited, to begin a new chapter. Extend our family of three and become a family of four. I am content with the thought of two boys. Running around the farm, playing in mud, making a mess and causing chaos. 

I know it'll never be easy, but we will conquer each milestone together; taking it one step at a time. 

You give birth to this precious little life that consumes your whole world. That beautiful little face that you could stare at all day and probably feel like screaming at during early hours of the morning. Both you and your partner as first time parents will have no idea what you are doing. No amount of parenting classes, books or my lovely blogs can even give you the slightest bit of reality. 

One day your giving your partner and the love of your life every ounce of your attention. The next day your struggling to have a conversation on a topic other than  what baby's poo is like or how many times he's vomited today. I'm not going to lie and say that part fades away, because dispise my partners disgust "poo talk" happens all the time even 10 months later! But the attention juggling act between quality partner time and baby time does level out. You will reach a point where you can stay up on your own with your lover when baby is asleep, rather then racing to bed to get every wink of sleep possible. And if your having any doubts about your physical or psychological relationship it will all soon level back out and return to "normal". Except that you will have a little person who will always come first, before the wants and needs of your own. 

But somehow you will happily let them takeover your world and you will love every painful and joyful minute of it!