It's time for you to meet the world, my little one. It's time to grow, learn and develop.  I cannot wait to start this adventure with you. But before it begins can we just take a moment. 

I need a moment to appreciate pregnancy; the aches, the pains and your movements. I want to memorise the feeling of your hiccups. I want to see Charlie admire my stomach one last time, give it one last kiss and then cover it up and say “bye bye baby”. I just need to freeze these moments in time. 

It's all about to end and I don't know how to feel about it. 

I feel relief; for my body. I can now heal, I can focus on my health and my fitness. 

I feel lighter; like weights have been lifted. I know Shane and I will be able to rekindle and light the flame which my moody hormones have smothered. 

I feel relaxed; knowing I can finally take back control of my mental health.

I feel guilt; for wanting it to end. For seeing the positives of never being pregnant again. 

I feel sadness. For this will be the last time I will grow another life; have two hearts beating inside my one body. 

But I know I should be excited, to begin a new chapter. Extend our family of three and become a family of four. I am content with the thought of two boys. Running around the farm, playing in mud, making a mess and causing chaos. 

I know it'll never be easy, but we will conquer each milestone together; taking it one step at a time.