Blog of Mcconnell: children

Knowing when you have reached your limit

The moment you realise this will be over forever.

It's time for you to meet the world, my little one. It's time to grow, learn and develop. I cannot wait to start this adventure with you. But before it begins can we just take a moment.

I need a moment to appreciate pregnancy; the aches, the pains and your movements. I want to memorise the feeling of your hiccups. I want to see Charlie admire my stomach one last time, give it one last kiss and then cover it up and say “bye bye baby”. I just need to freeze these moments in time.

It's all about to end and I don't know how to feel about it.

I feel relief; for my body. I can now heal, I can focus on my health and my fitness.

I feel lighter; like weights have been lifted. I know Shane and I will be able to rekindle and light the flame which my moody hormones have smothered.

I feel relaxed; knowing I can finally take back control of my mental health.

I feel guilt; for wanting it to end. For seeing the positives of never being pregnant again.

I feel sadness. For this will be the last time I will grow another life; have two hearts beating inside my one body.

But I know I should be excited, to begin a new chapter. Extend our family of three and become a family of four. I am content with the thought of two boys. Running around the farm, playing in mud, making a mess and causing chaos.

I know it'll never be easy, but we will conquer each milestone together; taking it one step at a time.

11:25:00 pm
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Interview | the unordinary motherhood

Artist

I had the pleasure of speaking with a lovely woman. Pearlyn is a mother who draws raw beautiful art to express her emotions.

She has began to share this on Instagram; in search of some comfort and knowing she's not alone in these tough times. I can definitely relate to some of her images in my own little ways. Can you?

Do you have children?

Yes, I've 2 little boys. One is 6 years old in a few days and the other is 3 years old. My younger boy was born with a rare genetic disorder call Williams Syndrome.

Can you tell me a little about what Willian's syndrome is?

Williams syndrome (WS) is a rare genetic condition that is present at birth and can affect anyone. It happens at random. It is caused by a spontaneous deletion of 26-28 genes on chromosome #7 at the time of conception. It is characterized by medical problems, including cardiovascular disease, developmental delays, and learning disabilities. It affects 1 in 20,000 people.

You can find out more on this website:

https://williams-syndrome.org/what-is-williams-syndrome

What is your motivation and philosophy behind your artwork?

Drawing is therapeutic for me. Art helps to calm the madness and chaos. I got to sit still for a moment to reflect and sketch. For me, finding a moment not running around my boys is scarce, I often ended up doodling in the car while my child naps, which is the only way he will nap these days, it's not ideal but it's a win-win.

The_unordinary_motherhood is an outlet for me to express some of what I'm going through in this journey with others. I find joy seeing people connecting with what i put out and relating to them. Then I realized hey I'm not alone, everyone has these thoughts and feelings as much as I do, no matter what is going on in their lives. It puts things in perspective.

Why have you decided to share this with the world?

I wanted to connect with others and share this journey hoping to use art to find some solace and beauty in difficult things.

Have you always expressed yourself through art?

Yes I've always been doing some form of art. I studied design, went into advertising, then became a hairstylist now I'm going back to art.

How has the response been from the public to your art thus far?

It has been positive I think. I get to make connections with the others, some who are also going through hard things and meet awesome artists from around the world.

I find this one piece of art so relatable and inspiring; it takes all the words I could ever jumble together to explain a feeling and puts them onto paper. Would you care to share a little more about this image?

Having a child born with a multi system disorder changes our lives. The weight of not knowing is enormous. I am constantly searching for courage and faith to move forward and I remembered this quote by Rumi and it really resonates with me. "Why do you stay in prison when the door is so wide open?" It is true how it is mostly ourselves who confine ourselves, when we really do have a choice. But we are often up and then down again haunted by our own fears and shadows. I'm trying to remind myself of that in hope to choose to take the positive road often.