Henny's Story
8:27:00 am
Let me begin to say I could easily go through labour ten
times over then to endure one day of hyperemesis. I really need to take a deep
breath and not succumb to my tears as I have to reopen this file stored far
away in my brain.
It was the beginning of a long, debilitating sickness that
robbed me of any joy I could have whilst pregnant. I will share to the best of
my recollection. We had just moved to Canberra and had no family or friends
there.
My husband and I were extremely overwhelmed with joy to
become first time parents. I was 5 weeks pregnant and started to feel nauseated
and was vomiting up to 6 times a day. I couldn’t even hold down water. I had to
quit my job. We thought this was normal. By the 8th week I’m vomiting up to
20 times a day and the nausea is unrelenting. I can’t sit, I can’t lie down, and
I can’t move and by now the mind games has started to kick in. Is my baby ok? Am
I actually pregnant? Do I have cancer? Am I dying? My husband was constantly
online, calling doctors, gathering information and trying to help me. By this
stage I had visited the doctor only once because I physically could not move,
my husband had to carry me. The doctor wasn’t helpful. We went for our fourth
visit in hospital only to be ridiculed and accused of “making it up” that “it’s
in my head”. We had to beg for medical attention. Everyone said it was morning
sickness, I knew it wasn’t. The nurses would take my blood and urine samples
only to confirm that indeed I am dehydrated and have ketosis. I get some relief
from the drip and return home and within the hour the vicious cycle begins. I
am starving and lick the bone of a T-steak that my husband ate whilst trying to
hide it from me. I didn’t even make it to the bathroom and I vomit-of course my
stomach is empty so all I’m vomiting is bile. And make no mistake- it is
painful. It burns and the aftertaste is horrendous.
The days were long and I had no peace at night. I would be
asleep and vomiting. My husband had
prepped the bed so I was upright on a 30 degree angle so I wouldn’t choke on my
vomit. I was sick of hearing “eat some crackers first thing in the morning”, or
“have you tried ginger”, “have you tried acupuncture”, “have you tried this”,
“have you tried that”. Of course we tried everything!!! I felt like saying,
have you tried coming over to my house and helping me walk to the bathroom, or
helping me shower-I just had no energy to fight or to talk. I didn’t shower for
two weeks at a time, my husband was caring for me. I had buckets in every
corner of the room, I couldn’t open the blinds, I couldn’t brush my hair, I
couldn’t brush my teeth which also made me vomit.
By the 11th week, I had visited the hospital for
the 7th time. They all knew me now, they would roll their eyes at
me. I didn’t have to beg and they would give me the drip with no questions
asked. They also gave me medication-Zofran. This medication is given to cancer patients
undergoing chemotherapy (maybe that can help some people understand the
aggressiveness of the vomiting and nausea) Zofran would just take the edge off.
And for 10 wafers we would pay $100!!! I would half the wafers so I had 4mg in
the morning and 4mg at night because I felt so guilty. I was hoping by the end
of the first trimester that this would be over, boy was I wrong! It was at its
peak and by this stage I had lost 5kg. Still no medical professional diagnosed
me with Hyperemesis.
I still haven’t had any water. My lips are bleeding and
cracked. I’m fatigued, depressed and longer have no desire to live. I could not
believe that I was pregnant and convinced I had cancer. I would try eating
small amounts of bread, hot chips, anything that was carbs and I thought I had
a chance of holding it down. I just couldn’t hold anything down, I was starving
but no longer could force myself to eat something. I was thirsty, my husband
would give me ice cubes to suck on but that didn’t help either. By the 14th
week I have my first visit with my OB/GYN and finally someone recognises what I
have been suffering. He is quick to give me a prescription for another round of
Zofran and a letter to the hospital to admit me whenever I want. Although this
was good news, I still was suffering.
I suffered for 8 more weeks of unrelenting and debilitating
nausea and vomiting. I hadn’t physically drank any water for 17 weeks. I lost
15kgs. Luckily by 22 weeks I started to drink and eat, holding food down, with
the occasional vomits here and there. The nausea lingered for another 8 weeks
and by 30 weeks all the other horrible pregnancy symptoms kicked in, heartburn
etc. On her due date, I gave birth to a healthy beautiful 3.52kg baby girl. As
soon as she entered this world every single symptom of hyperemesis just
magically disappeared.
Can you believe I went for round 2? My husband and I thought
(well we really prayed) that it wouldn’t happen again and this time we would be
prepared. It did happen again. I had a 14 month toddler by then. We had
occasional help by friends and wonderful neighbours but this kind of sickness
required 24/7 care. It was even worse (I don’t even know if that’s even
possible) second time round. My daughter was bringing buckets for me so I can
vomit in them. I will never forget the compassion in her eyes, her little soul.
She would wipe my tears with tissues that she got from climbing onto the dining
table. She would come to hospital with me and lay by my side and brush the hair
out of my face with her little hands. She was my rock.
I had hyperemesis with my second pregnancy until 26 weeks
pregnant and also lost 15kgs. It returned in the last week of pregnancy and
during labour. I also was extremely dehydrated and my body entered ketosis. I
gave birth to a healthy beautiful 4.06kg baby boy. And that was the last of
Hyperemesis.
Hyperemesis has robbed me of wanting another child, there is
absolutely no way can I endure that suffering again.
For anyone suffering, please find someone who will be your
voice. Let them advocate for you and talk to the hospital nurses/doctors
demanding the lifesaving drip.
For anyone who knows somebody who is suffering, go to their
homes, help them with little things, prepare an extra meal here or there for
their other kids, and don’t offer crackers or ginger. Offer an ear, do their
laundry-whatever small thing you can do will go a long way.
What helped me get through it was online forums on social
media and helpher.org. Hearing other women’s stories helped me feel like I was
not alone because I could not see the light at the end of the tunnel. I’m crying
as I write this, I wouldn’t wish this upon my worst enemy and I wish I didn’t
have to go through this and I often wonder how women in developing countries
cope.
Thank you for taking the time to hear my story.
Kind Regards
Henny
1 comments
Amazing story. Its so hard to put into words how horrible it is, but you did it well. I also blog about hyperemesis x
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